Well it's that time of year again folks, and I'm in the mood for a little wining and dining, and perhaps a bit more if I can get my hands on it! However, my wife will have to be a hell of a lot more agreeable than she's being at the moment for that to happen.
You see with Christmas, and of course children (for whom Christmas is all about), comes a certain responsibility to make it a joyous occasion, and sometimes this can be taken a tad too seriously.
My wife is one of these individuals who sadly puts the children before anything else, and at Christmas time I am left to my own devices when she has gone to bed, forgoing all pleasure for herself.
I on the other hand (no pun intended) am not content to go without the simple pleasures in life, so I am left to trawl through the bundles of shit they put on the TV at this time of year, frantically looking for something remotely erotic to wank myself off over. Yes that's right, for those of you who have followed my blog in the past, I am back to the rantings of a serial wanker!
There is only so much internet porno that one can tolerate. I find the majority of it takes away all the illusion that makes sex interesting in the first place; and I probably shouldn't be writing this, since the people who put this stuff out there on the internet pay my bills for me!
I find the late night babes, or whatever they call themselves, bouncing around on the TV screen with their tits hanging out, looking none too pretty, and wearing too much face paint! As if this is going to get me off; I leave this to the pissheads that come in at that time in the morning wearing their bear goggles!
So I am left looking at repeats of The Good Life at 2am, drooling over Felicity Kendal in her woolen jumper and mucky work boots. Oh Felicity, if only i'd have been old enough for you back then, I'd have travelled a hundred miles to be with you!
But what's this? Just as I've got my old chap all worked up Margot walks onto the screen in the most beautiful, figure hugging dress I've ever seen. This was serious competition for Felicity, let me tell you. Suffice it to say that both ladies satisfied me that night (early morning) and I went to bed satisfied.
Have a good Christmas if I don't write sooner.
Love
Les
X
